Pastor or Crook? by Melissa Rosella

Several years ago, my mom asked me to attend her church. I obliged as I was in town for a visit and wanted to impress her. I always look for ways to be the good daughter, to please my mom, and make her proud. I slipped on a sun dress and hopped in the car. I’d be lying if I said I was not nervous about attending this church led by a Bernie Mac look- a- like. I’d heard this guy does big things. He often goes into prisons and speaks to the prisoners about Jesus, is a singer/  songwriter, &, it turns out, he’s a thief, as he preys on the elderly.

I walked into the rickety church. The pews were a bit unsteady. I met the entire congregation, a whole 30 or so people. I met Bernie Mac, too. He’s a big black man, with strong hands, and a tall stature. I shook everyone’s hands as my mom made me out to be some sort of famous person by mentioning that I was, in fact, a teacher with a Master’s degree. It was kind of silly.

My mom was well-known by all and highly regarded as a kind-hearted and compassionate woman with a heart of gold. I sat down as church started. We sang hymns that were projected onto a screen that was far from new. Hands flew in the air and people kneeled and closed their eyes and swayed their hips from side to side as the pastor sang loudly with a choir behind him.

At one point, after the lengthy sermon, he asked if there were any visitors. He looked right at me and called me up to the front, my mom nudged me to head up front. I was nervous. Wasn’t sure what he was going to do and at that very moment I wanted to disappear from the church forever.

He dipped his hand in the holy water and began to pray over me. I don’t remember his words, but I do remember how incredibly intense and over the top the prayer was. He got loud and it became almost over the top and seemed a bit silly to me. He did that pressing thing on my forehead and sort a leaned me back…  I thought that was my cue to fall back, as I was supposedly being  hit so hard by the spirit of the Lord that I would fall back from such a powerful presence. I felt nothing, but didn’t want to look as thought I was not going along with the prayer, so I fell backward in his big hands and in his big arms and acted as if I was hit hard by the Holy Spirit. I wanted to please my mom. I was so incredibly disturbed by it all that I ran out of the church and swore to my mother I’d never attend her church again. It felt cultish and was not my idea of what fellowship or community or religion or spirituality was or is to me, it felt very much exaggerated and over the top and not realistic to me.

I ran and never looked back and my mom has been attending that ‘church’ since 1998.

The church sits along the road, heading out-of-town, and the pastor, and his new wife, live behind the church. They raise chickens, cows, goats, dogs, and more. They make their own meat and live off the land. He still speaks to those in prisons, accepts drug addicts, alcoholics, and homeless people into his church, according to mom.

We’d just been to the neurologist, when mom and I began talking about tithing and the importance of giving to the needy and being charitable. Mom chimes in with, ‘I don’t want to brag, but I give my pastor $1500 a month to pay his rent.’

My mouth dropped and my stomach fell to the floorboard of the car as I listened to my mom go on and on about how she tithes $100 per week and pays her pastor’s rent of $1500 per month. She quickly mentions he never asks her for money, but has only asked one time. You see cash has been unaccounted for in there home and no one has known where its gone. My mom has been sneaking him cash, quietly.

Let me paint a pic of my mom, she has schizophrenia, dementia, Parkinson’s, anxiety, and depression. She got sick at the age of 44 years old, was quickly admitted to a mental institution when I was 15 years of age. I was forced to move into my dad’s home because my mom could no longer care for me. She was essentially possessed by the devil and thought she was possessed by the Lord. The ‘Lord’ would tell her to do very dangerous things like: stab herself with a fork, drive with her eyes closed, tell her daughter (me) that I was going to rot in hell, and more. The possession was not of the Lord, but that of the devil and it was traumatic and scary and extremely harmful to me. Today, mom is on a slew of meds to prevent voices and prevent hallucinations. Mom is a former math teacher, but, today, she can’t handle basic mathematics and mathematical computing is a challenge.

Folks, the fact that this fucker takes  money from my mom speaks volumes about his character. Who takes money from someone that is not of a sound mind? I’ll tell ya who… a CROOK, that’s who.

Let’s chat elder abuse. My mom requires round the clock care, as does my stepfather. It’s $1900 a week. Mom speaks about tithing and that a voice in her head tells her to give her pastor that particular amount of money, this obscene amount of money each month. How long has she been doing this? This guy has no JOB because he doesn’t have to have one, my mom keeps his home a float. She enables him to not have to get a job and because he can count on that money each month, why would he have to get a day-to-day JOB? He can just prey on my poor mom for whom has a heart of gold, is vulnerable, is susceptible to elder abuse and the perfect candidate for his criminal ways.

He is wearing a mask as a pastor. He’s not a fucking pastor. He’s a thief and he will have to face the good LORD someday and the Lord ain’t cool with thieves.

I tell mom that she is good and because she is good and has a big heart, people will take advantage and my mom rattles off her pastor’s list of all the good things he’s done. & then she says, “If I don’t pay his rent, no one else will.”

NOT TRUE

My mom can’t be reasoned with, as she lacks the ability to reason, think logically, think clearly, and think sensibly.

My mother is being taken advantage of by someone who she is supposed to be able to trust, someone that knows far too much about my mom, and I’m sickened that a pastor would do something as horrible and rotten as steal from someone that is not of as sound mind. I intend to get to the bottom of this and move forward with legal action if I must.

Remember to be careful with labels. Pastor or not, a thief is a thief and they can wear different masks. Bad people can disguise themselves well and rattle off all of the good things they do, but still be a freaking thief underneath it all.

Mom urged me not to tell anyone. Fuck that. I have to protect my mom because she’s my mom and she can’t protect herself, as she thinks the LORD wants her to tithe this much. I don’t think my mom can tell the difference between the LORD’S voice and the voice of the ego or the voice of evil.

She even tried to backtrack and say she sometimes only gives him $1000 dollars a month. Recently found out that he does call and ask for money. He calls and asks for money. Be a man and go get a God damn job and stop preying on my mom.

Elder abuse is real and you must protect those around you. If you see something that looks suspicious, report it as soon as possible. I could have this guy thrown in jail for all the money he’s taken. He’s stolen thousands and thousands of dollars from my mother. She will have to have money after my stepfather passes away for assisted living and 24 hour nursing care, as she can’t care for herself. If she continues to give the way she’s been giving, she will run out of money.

This has to stop and we must be aware of what goes on around us. Best believe I will not allow this crooked pastor to get away with taking any more money from my beloved mother.