Karma

I pulled into Chipotle to grab dinner. I called Brian to see what he wanted to eat. A woman without teeth, dressed in colorful clothes, with a dog on a leash, knocked on my window. It startled me.

“I’m not going to rob you. I need help. I need money for the bus. I need $2.12. Can you help me & my baby (she looked down at her beloved pup) get home?” she asked a little too forcefully & abruptly.

I don’t like when people approach my car. It reminds me of the time I got sprayed with mace, years ago. A scary man attempted to kidnap me & I busted his eardrum with my annoying & high-pitched voice.  I scaled a 6 foot gate, in heels, & he missed my face, because I refused to look away from the brightly lit street lamp above me. Hope. Hope is the best of things. The mace hit my neck. My whole neck burned. It felt like my neck was on fire. But, I got away from the scary man with the lazy eye and a bottle of mace.

I automatically get startled, as I’m taken back, especially when it’s dark outside. I have to remind myself that I am safe and sound and that I’m not going to get harmed. If you are reading this, please do not ring my doorbell. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Just text me. I get the creeps when my doorbell rings. & If I don’t know you, I will not answer my door.

“I don’t have any money on me. I don’t carry cash. I don’t have any change. I’m sorry.” I don’t like saying no to people in need. It is uncomfortable. I love to people please. I love to be the hero. I love to fix things and being the solution to the problem. I love to make things better. I love to save. I love the feeling of being heroic in hard situations.  It’s much more fun when you have something to give. The face of the needy lights up and they are visually thankful. When you have nothing to give and say so, they frown and look disappointed. It’s hard to handle and hard to swallow. This experience was not unique.

Truthfully, I put my finger up to pause her for a moment, while chatting with B. I have a hard time must-tasking. I felt myself rolling my eyes. I found myself thinking…   can’t I go to Chipotle without getting hounded for money?

I hung up the phone and I searched my husband’s dirty cup holders for loose change. I started finding nickels, dimes, quarters, and pennies. They were covered with food debris. I searched the middle compartment, the compartment in front of the stick shift, and the door compartments. I found change, loose change, surprisingly. I looked out the window. I spotted the woman with the dog. She asked each and every person as they hurriedly made their way to their cars, probably focused on getting home to eat.

Some ignored her plea, some said no right to her face, some shook their heads, and some looked to the ground as they walked around her, as if she was trash they had to step around. Maybe all she wanted was to be seen by someone else.

Nobody handed her any money, no one appeased her, no one reached into their pockets, and no one seemed to want to help. She just needed bus fare to get where she wanted to go.

I put all the dirty change in my hand and hopped out of the car. I made my way to the Chipoltle bathroom and washed the change with soap, several times, to make the money shiny and new. It did not equal $2.12, but it is all I had.

I hurried outside and found the woman walking away from a man driving a Beemer. I told her I had $1.50 in change. I put it in her hand, looked her in the eyes and said, “God Bless You, be safe.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.” she smiled.

Brian called and asked what was taking so long. I’d just bought our food and was driving away. I discovered a few more coins and thought it would help her get her home. I needed to give the couple of coins to the needy woman with the dog.

“Honey, she’s not actually getting on the bus. Hurry home.”

I thought long and hard about what he said. Maybe he’s right and maybe he’s not. I searched both of the bus stops alongside Indian School and 44th Street. She was nowhere to be found. I pushed a little harder on the accelerator to get home a little faster.

I wonder if that woman in brightly colored clothes, walking her baby on a leash, collected enough money to get on the bus and get home.

I think we help where we can, when we can, and how we can. People do not have to earn the help. We give because we can and we help because we can.

You do not know other people’s circumstances. You don’t know what people are going through. You don’t know the full story.

I have this belief, in my heart, that most people are good. & so, I do things like leave my purse in my car, leave my bike in the driveway, leave my double Bob stroller in plain view, leave my gate unlocked, and leave my phone in the cart to retrieve an item in the aisle over.

Maybe it’s time to rethink those habits. I don’t live in a small town anymore.

I believe, even after being robbed, yesterday, that most people are innately good human beings. I do.

I will…

continue to rock my COEXIST & PEACE bumper stickers.

continue to look for ways to bless those in need.

continue to be generous.

continue to smile.

continue to hug.

continue to check in on my friends.

continue to call my mom even though she drives me mad.

continue to drive 20 minutes, twice daily, so Hope can attend a great rated school.

donate money to Children’s International for Cammie and Juan, in Honduras, to help them live a more comfortable life.

continue to hug, bless, & donate to the homeless.

listen to others & hear them, so they know they are seen and valued.

continue to make colorful and glitzy art to spread more joy in the world.

continue to raise kind children that are empathetic, caring, and loving.

What will you do?

Because even though my car is trashed, due to a thief having rummaged through my glove box & middle compartment, I have to continue being my hopeful & positive self.

I’m reminded of my favorite movie Shawshank Redemption & the conversation Brian &  I had the day before yesterday, the day before being robbed.

There are sacred places & meaningful spaces that others can’t touch, intimate parts of ourselves that we can’t allow to be messed with or altered. There are deep parts of ourselves, deep within our souls that we can’t allow to change, based on the chosen actions & hurtful words of others. Because we know who we are, what we are, & the kind of person we are, despite the actions or words of others. Don’t allow others to change those deep, meaningful,  fun, loving, caring, & innately good parts of yourself. Don’t give away your power. You are in control of you. You are in charge. You are the author and the illustrator of your life. We know who we are, we know what we are, and we know what we stand for. & we need to remind ourselves of that, often, especially the second someone else does something or says something that pulls at our heartstrings & challenges our character & our being.

Be grateful & thankful for the home in which you live, the irreplaceable moments, the car you drive, the bed you sleep in, the fridge you look in, the company you keep, the friends you have, the bank account you have, the children you kiss, the precious moments with loved ones, the phone you own, and the fresh & clean water you drink.

When my car got broken into, I told Facebook. I think I wanted empathy and sympathy and to hear the ‘me too’s.’ I got what I wished for and then I got perspective and it hit me in the face so hard and it brought tears to my eyes.

Hi Melissa

Sorry you got broke into. One thing that can bring comfort, be very grateful for what you have. Grateful for you family’s health. Grateful someone didn’t steal one of your kids. Etc. Gratitude has a wonderful way of healing. Believe me, after losing Addie, I know.

My step uncle, David, lost his daughter, Addie, years ago. She was not even 10 years of age. Yes, Uncle David, thank you so much for this incredible important reminder, perspective, and making me realize what I absolutely, positively have to be grateful for.

You see… my license, credit card, debit card, and bike can be replaced. My children can’t. I will continue to be grateful. I will continue to find things to be grateful for. There are always always things to be grateful for. You just have to look and sometimes you have to look really really hard, but make it a daily practice. Before you step foot on the floor, from your warm bed, think of what it is you are most grateful for. & make it a daily practice to say thank you, thank you, thank you.

Uncle David, God Bless You and God Bless sweet, precious Addie, what a beautiful angel baby girl she is. My hope is she is having a blast up in heaven with the good Lord and He’s watching over her until you get there. Love to you and yours.

Be grateful.

Be grateful.

Be grateful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.