Accept the Ebb and Flow

I went paddle boarding for the first time, yesterday. I had this picturesque vision in my head that the gals, meaning myself & Hope, would be on one paddle board and the boys, meaning Brian and James, would be on the other. What I hadn’t considered is that it was a busy weekend, lots and lots of jet skies were also being rented and run all over the area we’d be in, and it was windy.

My vision of calm, serene, and still blue green  water was shattered quickly upon arrival. We’d kayaked earlier, on a week day, with very few people, and on a non windy day.

James was afraid of the paddle boards. Hope was excited. I was pumped. Brian was pumped. We signed waivers, found the kids life jackets, and picked out our paddle boards. Hope sat in front and we got pushed off from the shoreline. 

We were instructed to stay a few yards away from the shoreline and we had more than enough room along the buoyed off section to paddle. Just past the buoys were the jet skis zooming back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I began by standing and balancing and quickly discovered that wasn’t going to work due to the waves, the bumps, the wind, and my lack of experience. I chose to paddle on my knees. Hope looked scared as the paddle board rocked from side to side and the waves gently splashed over the top of the board. I dug my paddle into the water and pulled and pulled and rowed from side to side, doing my personal best against the current of waves that inevitably were pushing me more and more towards the sandy beach. Hope grew more and more worried as the boat rocked back and forth. She began to cry. This wasn’t what I’d predicted. 

“I thought this was going to be fun, Mom. This is not fun.” 

I looked back at the marina and instantly spotted Brian in his hot pink swim trunks, pleading with James to get on the paddle board. He wasn’t having it.

“Don’t look back, Mom, keep paddling. You’re scaring me. Focus.”

I kept going. I paddled from left to right, back and forth. The jet skis made it difficult with every back and forth movement, more and more waves came, and more and more rocking ensued. What had I signed up for? I pictured this relaxing, calm, adventurous, and fun-filled experience and that is certainly not what was happening. The complaining and the whining was becoming a lot to handle. Next time, we’ll come alone.

“Mom, when are we at the beach?” Hope asked for the 4th time. So much complaining.

We were headed towards a sandy and dog- friendly beach filled with rocks, shells, and treasures waiting to be discovered. Once we passed the jet ski friendly area, the waves calmed a bit and Hope’s shoulders settled a bit lower. She stopped crying and looked around. We noticed boulders and houses and then lots and lots of  crabs on rocks. I pointed out the crabs and this created a new threat to Hope. She began to cover her eyes and beg me to row away from the crab covered boulders. 

A woman was sweeping her porch and heard Hope’s cries, “This is a good place. This is a happy place. Smile.” Hope continued frowning. 

I would stop every once in a while to take a break. Hope would tell me not to stop. I told her to accept the waves. She requested for me not to use the word ‘wave,’ as it scared her. 

We pulled up to the beach and Hope hopped out and pleaded for me to undo her life jacket. She shivered. She was grouchy and I was sore. We began walking up the beach. I saw lots of tall grass and lots and lots of dogs of all kinds. 

I heard a whistle. I looked back. Brian pulled up quickely and enthusiastically in a kayak. James beamed in the front of the boat. We waited for them to catch up and made our way along the shoreline, the wet sand squishing under our feet and between our toes. We pet a lot of puppies along the way. Hope insisted she would not be riding back with me via paddle board. I was ok with that. 

We walked as far as we could up the beach, did a U-turn, and made our way back to our paddle board and kayak. Brian decided to take both kids in the kayak. I opted to paddle board alone, against the current, the wind, and those damn buzzing jet skis. 

There was something beautiful, serene, adventurous, and fun about going alone. Even when fighting against the things I had no control over, I found it very peaceful to paddle up and down, back and forth, up and down, back and forth. 

It got me thinking about all the trials and tribulations, the unexpected twists, turns and bumps in the road that we experience in life, that we have very little control over. It got me thinking about how often we resist, push against, and refuse to accept things for there/ their face value. It got me thinking about how much energy and havoc it takes when we refuse to accept what comes our way. 

What would happen if we truly accepted people as they are and as they aren’t- true love? What if we chose to surrender to the inevitable of life? What if we stopped fighting and forcing things to be different? What if we accepted the wind, the waves, the back and forth, and the pushing and pulling? What if we allowed the waves to guide us? What if we didn’t always paddle, but took more breaks to admire our surroundings? What if we stopped trying to fix people and started accepting people? What if we met people from where they were instead of making them wrong? What if we accepted that each of us are unique and add value to the world by being ourselves? 

I accepted the waves, the wind, the back and forth zooms of the jet skis, and the imbalance I felt as I struggled to stand. I accepted my kids complaints along the way, laughed at Brian’s jokes, opted to put my legs in the cold water, accepted the tummy rolls (they’re shrinking) of my bikini wearing body, noticed the olive green slimy seaweed, peeked for scurrying crabs, smiled at passerby’s, accepted the feedback of a paddle boarder on how to row more effectively, and I even chuckled when he fell in the water after advising me! I took it all in. I noticed the cars and trucks that lined the bridge and I admired my husband’s muscular back as he paddled our two babes safely back to shore. I took it in and took on the challenge of making my way back against the current, the push and the pull, the back and the forth, the wind pushing me back as I made my way forward. I watched the jet skiers and was entertained by their laughter. I was grateful for the warmth of the sunshine and the every now and then covering of the sun by the ever-moving grey clouds. I was thankful to be in the ocean, the blue green grey of the ocean, the way the salt sticks to your skin, thankful for the tan I was receiving. Grateful for the experience and adventure of something new and out of my comfort zone. Thankful for family and the ability to experience paradise on vacation with the ones I love the most. I chose to accept instead of resist. The acceptance made me feel more at peace. 

Embrace and accept the ebb and flow of your daily life. Go with the flow, invite the twists and turns, be grateful for the smoothness and the bumpiness of life. Use your trials and tribulations to educate and serve the world,  to help the world become a better and kinder  place. Learn to love others in all of their essence, with all of their strengths and weaknesses. Learn to love and accept yourself.