People are People are People are People are People are People

Yesterday, Hope and I went to get a pedicure. The T.V. was set to the Wendy Williams show. Naturally, I was intrigued. Then she said this:

“Ya know THOSE white women…”

The audience roared with laughter, but not me. She must have referenced white women two or three more times during the segment I watched. Hmmmm… I’m a white woman… what exactly is she saying? Why do we speak about people based on their color? Why not just say ‘woman’ or ‘women?’

What would I have said to Hope had she looked at me and asked what that meant? We teach our children how to be in the world. Racism is taught, sexism is taught, & homophobia is taught. Our children are born blank slates. They are born with clear minds and clear consciousness. We, as their parents, write on the slates of who they become. We have the power to write whatever it is we choose to write on them. & what we write molds the minds of our children and helps create their adult mindsets and beliefs.

Please think before you speak about another human being or a group of human beings. Labels are powerful, detrimental, and often are prematurely and unfairly bestowed upon others. Often, we decide who people are long before giving them a real chance, long before ever speaking to them, long before we’ve gotten to know them for ourselves. We’ve already made up our minds about who they are and who they aren’t.

We all do it. I used to call Scottsdale SNOTSDALE… & then I moved to Scottsdale & realized I was way wrong. The people in my hood are actually some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Shame on me for making such presumptions before even giving the people of this beautiful city a chance. Watch your words, as they become your truth.

Our kids are sponges and mirrors of us. They will take on the presumptions we take on. They will label people the way we label people. They will judge others the way we judge others. They will mimic our words, our prejudices, our fears, and our judgements. They will follow suit. They even will mimic the underlying tones of our words.

We have a responsibility to teach unconditional love of all people, acceptance of all people, tolerance of all people, the bravery & courage to stand up for self/ others/ what they believe in, and the gift of truly seeing others as human beings from the inside out, first, not from the outside in, first.

We pigeon-hole, categorize, box up, label, decide, assume, presume, and right people off, based on the car they drive, their bank account, the zip code they live in, the clothes they wear, the job they hold, the church they attend or don’t attend, the color of their skin, their gender, their sexuality, and more. We decide if they weren’t friendly enough when we first met them, they must be a snob. We create stories about others that are not based on logic, but are based on our imaginations. Perhaps that person was having a bad day. It certainly doesn’t mean they are a snob. We create stories in our heads, believe our make believe, and right people off. What nonsense! Stick with the facts!

Would would happen if we looked at each person as a human being simply making their way through the world? What if we took the time to get to know each person we met? What if we took the time to set aside our categorizations, presumptions, assumptions, and labels and looked at our fellow-man as one of God’s people? Wouldn’t the world be so much more amazing if we could all set aside our bullshit and just love one another the way we would love our sister, our brother, and our best friend? What if we spoke to every person the way we spoke to our sister, our brother, & our best friend?

My mom was raised in the KKK and Bible Belt of America. My mom was raised to look at African-Americans as less than. My mom was raised by a racist and then she continued the cycle and became racist, too.

She would often say, “THOSE blacks…”

I would cringe.

Growing up in the south, every single person looked like me. I knew nothing else. I saw nothing else. I was bored. We moved to three different states and all of them were the same. Everyone looked like me. I learned a lot living in OK., TX., & AR. about manners and southern living, but my mom failed to teach me, as her mom had failed to teach her, about the beauty of diversity.

I think it’s heavily hypocritical that I was raised with super-duper manners & yet taught that being gay was a sin and if you weren’t white… you were less than. My mom was heavy on the please and thank you’s, but not on accepting people on an equal playing field. It baffles me that in the same church pew that I was being taught God’s word, I was being taught to look down on black people and to believe homosexuality will send you to hell. I was raised to believe that I was entitled because I was white. Makes no damn sense. All people are created equal. What a bunch of horseshit!

The God I’ve grown to love and adore sought out all people and had no presumptions, no assumptions, no prohibitions on who was ‘good enough’ for the kingdom of God. All were welcomed in. Love thy neightbor! It’s not like he stands at the gates of heaven and asks if you are gay or not, as if He has a check list before you’re allowed to enter in. You are born worthy, born enough. He sought out those banned from society. He walked right up and healed the blind, the wheelchair bound, the deaf, the sick, the hungry,  the lonely, the lost,  the sad, and the list goes on and on. Let us be extensions of Him.

Our home welcomes all people, from all walks of life. I’m reminded of Martin Luther King Jr.’s speech. I want our children to love all people and judge them not based on the color of their skin, but rather the content of their character. People are people are people are people are people. Being around people of all different races educates us, opens us up, helps us grow, stretches us to new heights, opens our hearts, and develops us into better human beings.

Mama had a mental breakdown when I was 15 & had to go to a mental institution, as she could no longer care for me. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I went to visit my father in Indiana that summer and asked if I could move in.  Sally & dad preached acceptance and unconditional love for all people and everyone was welcome in our home at any time. I’ll never forget what my dad said to me in high school, “You treat all people with respect, no matter what… the barista at Starbucks, the high school janitor, the homeless man on the street, and the CEO at a prestigious company.” My dad always  treats others with kindness and honor. I strive to be that way every single day. & my dad doesn’t just say it, he lives it, & taught me well.

My whole entire world opened up upon entering my junior year of high school. Diversity was interwoven into my once narrow-minded, southern accented world almost immediately. I was much happier to be around people from all walks of life and truly admired and appreciated all the beautiful shades and tints of the beloved friends that surrounded me.

& when I attended Goshen College, I was truly exposed to people from all over the world.  Everyone was so beautiful and many had their own customs and languages. I made  friends with people from the Dominican Republic, Bosnia, China, Costa Rica, Thailand, Ethiopia, Spain, Nigeria, and so much more. It was amazing and my whole entire world became so intriguing!

I traveled to the Dominican Republic & Haiti for 3 months as a school requirement and my whole entire world was spun upside down and back again in the best kind of way. I was shown love from complete stranges and was humbled.  I feel in love with Spanish, Dominican culture, the delicious food, the unique customs, and even the beer (Presidente) while there! I taught preschool. I grew more in that 3 months than all 4 years of college! It was an invaluble expereince and I hold a special place in my heart for the Dominican Republic!

College was a huge learning experience for me. I will be forever grateful for my years at a private liberal arts college that absolutely positively celebrated and encouraged people to be proud of who they were from the outside in and the inside out. Diversity was honored and celebrated.

Perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve learned over the years is we absolutely positively can’t pigeon-hole people. The more we pigeon-hole, the further we grow apart. We put up walls and barriers and we don’t get into others’ worlds enough. We hide behind our phones, social media, and texting. We don’t have enough conversations and meet ups. Meet up with someone new. Talk to new people on a daily basis. Learn a new language. Ask questions.

Let’s take down the walls, stop putting up barriers, and open our hearts. Let’s learn from other people and encourage our children to do the same. Let’s educate our children on different countries, foods from far away places, and unique customs that differ from our own. Let’s bust out maps and teach them that their world is not just in the United States, but so much vaster. Let’s teach our kids to celebrate who they are! Let’s encourage them to share themselves with those around them. Let’s teach our children that they are a gift and that gifts are meant to be shared. We share ourselves with others to learn, grow, and to stretch… and in turn… we  become more compassionate, more accepting, and more understanding of others.

Let us set aside our assumptions, presumptions, and unfair labels bestowed upon beautiful people around us. It limits our world. It limits our view. It narrows our perspective. It keeps us small. Broaden your mind. Go outside of your comfort zone. Meet new people.

& when we broaden our minds, our children’s minds broaden, too. & when we rid ourselves of judgement, our children aren’t judgemental. When we help our children see people as human beings and when we lose the labels, we raise our little people to do the same. In turn, that creates a more tolerable, patient, peaceful, loving, caring, compassionate, and empathetic universe. We change the world. We leave a legacy of acceptance and they pass that legacy onto their kin. It becomes a ripple effect. & the world becomes more beautiful. We have the capacity to change the world, but it starts with us. We are the pathway to teaching our children to love all people, unconditionally, so we must be careful with our words by modeling unconditinal love in every way possible.