Was looking at videos of my kids opening Christmas gifts, last night, & noticed my husband happened to capture the absolute least flattering angles of my wrinkly & rolley pooley neck humanly possible. It looks like I have 20 chins. How did that happen? I’m turning 40 in June.  How did I not ever notice? Maybe I should avoid the camera altogether.

I recently discovered a goofy looking chin exerciser that is supposed to get rid of rolley chins. Sounds almost as silly as the Shake weight. Although, Shake Weight does work. Maybe the chin exerciser would produce similarly amazing results. Perhaps I should give that wacky device a whirl.

My hair is a full time job to do. I have more colics than anyone I’ve ever met. I have baby hairs that refuse to cooperate & do not grow. I wake up & it is in disarray every single day. I can’t control my hair patterns. Thank God for hair spray, pomade, brushes, flat irons, & combs. Otherwise, I’d never leave the house without covering up with a hat.

My face breaks out constantly. Why oh why do I break out at the age of 39? I’m not a hormonal teen! It’s as if I wake up with one or two new blemishes, per day, in the same spots. Don’t get me started on the scars those nasty blemishes create. Despite my efforts of buying every beauty regime under the sun, my face still breaks out. It drives me bat shit crazy.

I’m jealous of my clear-skinned friends. Do they know something I do not?! Hope asks me what the red spots all over my face are. I smile & answer honestly. Thank God for cover up, make up, & semi-good skin care products. Just want to run away & bury my face in the sand, sometimes, but what good would that really do?! Sometimes I feel as if that is all people see when they see me. Bums me out.

My eyebrows are growing back in after over plucking. This past summer, I was told that over plucked brows can make you look 10 years older. So, I stopped plucking & started using Lash Boost (R + F)! Thank God for that product, but despite my obsessive compulsive use of this very product every single night, my brows have bald spots. I can’t control the growth of my eyebrows, but microblading is looking more & more appealing to me. Just not sure I can wrap my head around someone making bitty teeny weeny slits, with a blade, on my face, in order to have better looking eyebrows. We shall see.

Brian texted me this question, last Friday: “What is your weight?” It was for insurance purposes. I thought he was kidding, but it turns out he really needed to know. Fuck

I cringed & bravely took the scale, absolutely knowing I’d hate the number glaring back at me. I’m 20 pounds heavier than I was when we ventured to Hawaii two years ago. 20 pounds is a lot. I stepped off & stepped back on swearing the number was incorrect, but it wasn’t. I sort a let it ruin my day, but I can’t say a single thing about it in front of my impressionable tots. Had to put on my happy face for them.

I guess I will continue to wear my LULAROE leggings & pull those babies high up over my mama muffin top until I decide, once & for all, I’ve had enough of these extra pounds I’m unnecessarily lugging around. Damn you, Holidays, damn you. Just really really love to eat. I love bread, cheese, cookies, & pizza.

Brian has weighed the same since high school. I look at cookies & gain weight. He eats a dozen before bed & gains nothing. Damn you, B, damn you. I’m jealous of you, your body type, your genes,  & your 5 a.m. morning gym visits.

There are things about me that are beautiful.

1.) I love my lips & I love applying fun colors to them.
2.) My teeth are pretty awesome, as they should be after 6 years of braces. Recently discovered charcoal whitening. I like it & it does work!

3.) My legs are shapely. They’ve not changed much over the years, despite my weight gain. My thighs are a wee bit more jiggly than before, but overall still similar to what they were before the weight gain. If I don’t walk too fast or run, you can’t really tell they are a little more flabby than before. Thank you, hot yoga, & genes.

4.) I like my new & longer eye lashes. Thank you, Lash Boost.
5.) I like my chocolate brown eyes. Eyes are windows to the soul, I have a good soul.

Recently heard my voice & sort of cringed. Since when did I sound so goofy? Yowzers! Lol! Oh well, it makes for an entertaining singing  voice. Oh how I love to sing. Recently, I purchased a karaoke mic. Now, I can sing my little heart out, turn on the multi-colored disco light feature, & rock out with my kids that also love to sing. My hubs & I can sing beloved boy band ballads in the comfort of our home. Love it!

Want you to do me a favor. Write down what you love about yourself. Write down the things that you can embrace about yourself & focus on those very things, the things you love about you.

Gosh, there are a million & one things we can improve on & a new year is right around the corner, but list the things that you are most proud of.

I look at 2017 & am proud:

1. My two kids are alive, thriving, & are good little humans
2. B & I are better than ever. Thx, Landmark, marriage counseling, & individual counseling
3. My mom’s group is growing. We’re at 3, 150. & we’ve got an app coming soon called Mothers Matter
4. My health is good, my husband’s health is good, & my kids Health is good, too
5. Black Jack is more cuddly than ever & thinks I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread
6. My blog has been am amazing outlet for me, a healing & fun addition to my life, & a great way for me to express myself. Hopefully it has helped a few people, too.
7. I have a home, food, clean water, & a place to lay my head
8. I get to be a stay at home mom, meaning I get to volunteer & be of service to Hope’s teacher & the children in her classroom, a couple times a week
9. I get to be the room mom for Hope & James, meaning I get to be of service to their teachers & students
10. My sister, Sara, & I have grown closer this year. Joy & I are close, too, & talk often
11. My mom is doing well & we have a close relationship
12. Painting & body scrub making are, & continue to be, my stress relief go to, my escape, & my relaxation space
13. The sun comes out every single day, regardless of the season & my moods
14. My anxiety is under control, as is my ADD. Thx, Lexapro, Vyvanse, hot yoga, therapy, & Landmark

Focus on what you are grateful for. So what if you are lugging a few extra pounds around. So what if you break out. So what if you have an obscene amount of colics & a ridiculously obvious widow’s peak. If you can’t control it, let that shit go. Otherwise, you’ll go nuts worrying over what you can’t change or control.

Be a kind human being. Be grateful. Have a giving spirit & do what makes you happy.

Happy New Year, All, & to all a good night!