Everyone matters: The stay at home mom, the social worker, the homeless man, the poor communicator, the gal that tries too hard, the guy that flips you off at a stop light for no reason, the liar, the con- artist, your ex-husband, your absent-minded sister-in-law, your forgetful brother, your poor communicator of a spouse, your annoying mother-in-law, your stellar father- in-law, the inmate that just got released from prison after being locked up for 15 years, the friend that didn’t hold her tongue, the ungrateful boyfriend, the spoiled rotten child, the humble stepmom, the mentally unstable mom, the elderly stepfather, the depression sufferer that has to quit their job, the hardworking mom realtor juggling many hats, the alcoholic, the hard working illegal immigrant, the factory worker, the pissed off foster care worker, the Trump supporter, the republican, the overworked and underpaid teacher, the non-profit founder, and  the money inheritor.

No one matters more than anyone else. We all deserve to be seen, heard, and made to feel relevant.

There are times people have made me feel like I don’t matter as much, simply because I’m a stay at home mom, that my work isn’t that hard, and that I don’t make an impact in this big wide world. Those assumptions hurt because I’m raising two beautiful kind children that will later act as leaders and world changers. You only see what you see. You aren’t living my life, so hold your tongue and try to see from my point of view before assuming you know what my life looks like.

Everyone has stress. Everyone has things they endure that hurt. You see what you see. You react to what people choose to show you, but what is really going on behind their smile?

Here’s the solution: we treat all humanity with love, respect, and kindness. We make space for all the people we see and encounter. We regard all people as important, valid, relevant, and hard working. We see people as people and look for ways to be of service.

We shelf our pain and listen to the people we love by looking them in the eye, by truly hearing them, by really seeing them, & by making them know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are seen, that they matter, & that their presence has an impact on this planet. That without them, the world would suffer, as the sky would not be as blue, the sun not as bright, and the trees not as green. The world would be more dull without them.

All our work matters. May not a single person allow you to feel less than based on what you do, or don’t do, on a daily basis. May no one allow you to feel that your contribution, from simply being the beautiful being you are, doesn’t matter because it absolutely, positively does.

We only see what one chooses to show us. You don’t know what is beneath the surface, behind the Instagram posts, underneath the Facebook photos, or behind the forced smile.

Shut your mouth & listen with an open heart & an empathetic ear. Everyone matters & all of their experiences count.

Pain is pain.

Trauma is trauma.

Hurt is hurt.

There is no ranking system. You do not have to qualify for empathy. You don’t earn sympathy. It’s a birthright.

We make space for others to reveal themselves, to peel off the layers of their truth, and we become the true listeners that have earned the right to hear their stories. We do so without judgement and without interruption.

Your pain is not more important than someone else’s. Your trauma does not discount someone else’s because it was supposedly more profound, deeper, or more evident.

It all matters.

We all matter.

We must start making more space for others. We have to stop being self-centered assholes. We have to stop being self-absorbed. I can be self-absorbed.

I’ve caught myself using the pronouns ‘I’ and ‘me’ and ‘my.’ I’m working to move away from my self-absorption because I’ve realized it makes me a miserable and unhappy person. For me to wallow in my pain and absorb in my self-pity for what I’ve endured in my life and to reflect on the pain of my past makes me so unhappy and so depressed. What’s the point?

The past is over.

We create something new & move on.

It’s when I shelf my own bullshit and make room to hear stories of other people’s trials, tribulations, victories, & triumphs that I truly feel free. To have another share a slice of their story with us is an honor, a privilege, and a priceless gift. To play a part in someone’s healing is to bring joy to one’s life. The more I shelf my bullshit and truly take the time and patience to hear others, the more free and happy I become.

When all we do is live in our own heads, our own happenings, and our own pain, we shut the world out and live in isolation and we suffer. To live without connection, is to choose to live in suffering. To live in isolation is to choose unhappiness. To live without being present with others is to choose to live unhappily.

We are hard-wired for connection. The opposite of connection is suffering.

If we can step outside of our own suffering & make room to listen to someone else’s truth, we can experience and create more happiness in our own lives.

We are all connected because we’ve all experienced pain and joy. We’re connected. We are all alike in so many ways. We are one. We are all human. The human experience is the same for us because we all suffer & we all celebrate.

I invite you to make space for others each and everyday. I invite you to shelf your pain long enough to truly listen to others stories, experiences, and  life happenings. I invite you to be truly present with the people you care for. I invite you to stand for those you love and those that can’t bear to stand for themselves.

If we can just put our own stuff aside, we can begin to be happier people by being of service to others. Being of service heals us. Staying in our pain and our own heads keeps us damaged, sad, and unhappy.

How can you use your trauma to help others, to elevate others, and to rise above?

I am working on this.

We are working on this.

I will always be working on this & so should you.

You going through what you’ve gone through does not give you permission to be an asshole to the rest of us. You go & heal your pain so you can figure out how to use that pain to make the world a better place. Because in the end, we all have pain & we can use it for good or we can use it for bad. You choose!

Because in the end,

we’re

all

just

walking

each

other

home.